I apologize if I've offended anyone here

[Candi]

A wise member mentioned to me that I might be alienating myself in this male dominated hobby by complaining/bashing my husband in a few of my threads. I wanted to apologize if I've offended anyone, it was never my intent to "bash" my husband, sure I wish he shared my interest in tanks/fish however I'm grateful to him for allowing me to have three marine tanks running in our living/dining room and numerous little tanks throughout the house, plus putting up with the hours I spend messing with them and the rubbermaid garbage can that spends more time in the dining room mixing water then anywhere else LOL

I'll keep my frustrations and complaints edited out of future posts

Thanks guys (and gals)
Candi

 

[Subliminal]

Bah!

My wife has this look she gets if I even look in the direction of the fishtank with her in the room.

I honestly think she's jealous of my affection for it.

 

[Baxreefs]

Hey!

We're all reefers here!

A significant other, of any gender, needs to be handled like a difficult fish

 

[JohnS_323]

Personally, I wouldn't say that you "offended" me. I will say that I'd be really disappointed to find my wife bashing me in a male dominated public forum, though . . . .

 

[Brian]

I'm with John on this...while not offended, it would really bug me if I found that out about my wife. Although you do see a lot of the guys bashing their significant other as well...That's something else I have never understood... If your spouse doesn't enjoy the hobby, I would rather not here about how they make life difficult for you or don't let you buy things.

 

[GregW]

I wouldn't call it husband-bashing. More like non-reef tank-owning-spouse bashing, which I believe is allowed if you check the bylaws.

So bash away. Better a keyboard than a head

 

[pgordemer]

My partner Peter at the last meeing at Brian's house, joked that they need a Auxilary for the drag along spouses that don't have a clue about tanks (but are dragged kicking and screaming for the ride) and they can have their own conversations.

He says, I feed them, I talk to them, but thats the end of it.

-Phil

 

[Baxreefs]

I don't think my wife could say ... or write anything in a conversational forum that would be that offending to me.

It is just chatter on a forum ... I know she loves me and respects me even if I am the brunt of a joke or two ... or twenty

 

[kathainbowen]

Miss Candi, if you need to apologize for that, then I've got four lifetimes worth of stuff to apologize for from when I worked at the LFS in Atlanta.

Let's see....

1.) I apologize to all trigger owners and acknowledge that they are not "dumb, mindless, eating machines."

2.) I apologize to all shark owners and acknowledge that they are not "garbage cans with fins."

3.) I apologize to all Oscar owners and acnkowledge that they are not "the stupidest purchase you could make."

4.) I apologize to that guy who bought the anemone that had three others get torn up by a powerhead. I didn't mean that you would "be better off handing it back to me so I could stomp on the bag." I meant to say "humanely destroy."

5.) I apologize for the customer we called "Klaus" because he "looked like Santa." Yes, you were an unbeliable jerk, but we shouldn't have compared you to Santa. It makes him look bad, and I don't want to be on the naughty list.



..... you get the idea.

But, one the same lines, I do heartily apologize to all the members of NJRC for basically being an opinionated, loud mouthed, brash, at times, exceptionally foul tempered/mouthed, and generally "Jersey." I know I have a nasty temper that I allow to rear its ugly head at times, so anyone on the forum is more than welcome to call me on it..... you're also welcome to call me on a joke when it's gone to far.

 

[Candi]

kathainbowen: Thank you for the laugh and huge smile you put on my face, and for making me feel better.

I was honestly shocked that anyone would be offended or think poorly of me for anything I had typed here. Truth be told my husband and I share this laptop, he is often next to me when I'm rambling on about him being a grump/antisocial/fish hater LOL in fact he will openly admit to all the above, and said he finds this especially funny and further proof that all us fish lovers are nuts (his quote not mine) :

Baxreefs: I tried, but he won't fit in a sump or down the potty hehee

Everyone else, thanks for your comments supportive or not, I will keep them all in mind and do my best to keep my personal life out of my posts (although if I'm asked why I never attend a meeting and give the excuse that I have to wash my hair you'll know the real reason is sitting next to me on the sofa )

 

[Absinthe]

We men are very sensitive folk, you see.

I am sure if we knew HALF of what our wives/girlfriends/fiancees said about us to their girlfriends...holy moly, I dont even want to think of it.

I dont mind the husband bashing.

In fact, it gives me a chance to scope out the opinion of the "other side".

 

[mfisher2112]

No worries here Candi. I throw some off-handed comments about my wife in here and there, but all in jest. The fact of the matter is, I wouldn't have the tanks I have, nor would I be a member of the club or be on these forums if she wasn't at least somewhat supportive. ;D If she really didn't want me to spend the money, she would say so, and I wouldn't. That's just how we roll.

In all honesty, she does go to the fish stores with me, and asks questions about the fish and corals I look at. But she throws jabs at me every now and then about "sleeping in that tank if you keep it up", etc. And on the flip side, I tease her all the time about her gardens (yes, plural) and how they are "bee farms" so she can kill me and get the insurance money! (I'm allergic to bees) She laughs and threatens to plant them in the trunk of my car so she gets the double indemnity from the accident while I'm at work! LOL!

I guess it's all in the eyes of the reader, so-to-speak.

 

[Sorcha]

No worries at all...of course I'm not a man either.

Seriously though, message boards and email leave alot to interpretation. Not really knowing each other very well (in most cases) leaves room for us to assume we know another person's intent. Shoot, I've misunderstood my own sisters in email and gotten ticked off.

I just think it's important that we all keep an open mind. The emoticons are good for putting some emotion into our text, letting others know when we're being wiseasses, etc.

I've been there too. I'm sorry you felt you needed to put out this post to apologize, but it looks like it worked out well for you.

 

[Erich]

Not a problem.... Buy us all a beer and we will call it even.

The heck with them if they can't take a joke...

FFFUGGGEEET About it..

 

[JerseyWendy]

Candi, I haven't been a member long enough to have ever seen you "bash" your husband, but when I read that your DH (<-- dear husband ) doesn't share the same interests, I could relate a little.

3 years ago I got into tarantulas, and acquired quite a collection. Nobody supported it, neither my hubby nor my boys. BUT - I have a gardening obsession (roses), 2 HUGE dogs, and 2 big parrots, and those all are whole-heartedly supported and loved by everyone.

Well - I was tired of hearing "eeeew" "how can you" "blah" etc. each time I'd be playing with my spiders, so I am selling all of them except one and have discovered reefing instead. ;D EVERYONE is really happy now.

Some people just don't "show" their support like others, but it really doesn't mean all the time they don't like it.

Keep your head up.

Hugs
---
Wendy

 

[MadReefer]

I take offense to the following quote by kathainbowen
(exceptionally foul tempered/mouthed, and generally "Jersey.") just kidding.

No offense taken at all. My wife could care less about the fish, lizards, frogs and newts in the house. Just like I don't care to sit and watch Desparate Housewives, basketball (I'm to short), or go to garage sales.

 

[kathainbowen]

I take offense to the following quote by kathainbowen
(exceptionally foul tempered/mouthed, and generally "Jersey.") just kidding.

... *giggle* "Jersey" is a term coined by my Southern roommates when I was in college for the randomly, suddenly harsh, profane and angry moments. They were all scared of me when I first moved in because I was from NJ, and, as such, they expected me to be nothing but angry, profane, and a general b*tch. But, I was really nice and polite for the most part (mostly out of spite to try and prove them wrong about Jerseyans), except for these few random moments were I couldn't control it. They said it was the "Jersey" creeping out, or that I was having a "Jersey moment."

.... it kind of made me start to feel like New Jersey wasn't really a state, but a massive collective of bodysnatchers in human hosts that just occupied this vagueish area around NYC. I had escaped the majority of the enclave, but, every so often, the bodysnatcher in my brain managed to regain a connection with the hive!

 

[Candi]

Hey, maybe I could use this same theory as my "excuse"... we did just move from MI, but what I failed to mention was that we lived just outside of DETROIT... and everyone knows about Detroit right? hehehe LOL (ok so we lived in Oakland County, aka suburbia but hey, it sounded good right?)