I thought this was interesting. This is the text of the email I got about my items being shipped.
Good news, JOHN!
Your aquarium supplies have been carefully picked from Marine Depot's shelves like delicate berries and placed into a wicker basket lined with unicorn fur. With the grace of a ballerina, we tiptoed them to our packing station where Santa's Elves who work with us during their off-season prepared your order for shipment.
Your products were methodically placed in each box using techniques taught to us by a former Tetris World Champion. Using a pair of tweezers, we placed hundreds of packing peanuts one-by-one into every nook and cranny to ensure safe transport. We are proud to share with you that our packing peanuts are reusable, recyclable, biodegradable and made using 100% recycled content. They also do not trigger peanut allergies. Eat your heart out, Mr. Peanut.
Saying goodbye to such sought-after products is always gut-wrenching. That is why we offer employees unlimited handkerchiefs as a part of our generous benefits package. As your order was whisked away at light speed down our assembly line into the loving arms of the shipping courier, our warehouse elves, with tears in their eyes, joined hands and whispered, "Jábba sô kalîk qonay." We don't speak Elvish ourselves, but they tell us the rough translation is "May these supplies bring stability and success to the aquarium and its owner." Wow, we are getting a little choked up ourselves now. Thanks, elves.
As the delivery truck pulled away from our warehouse dock, a rare double rainbow appeared overhead. That's when we knew the products we had raised since they were mere hatchlings were on their way to a better home. Please take care of them and, we promise, they will take care of you.
With sincere appreciation,
Good news, JOHN!
Your aquarium supplies have been carefully picked from Marine Depot's shelves like delicate berries and placed into a wicker basket lined with unicorn fur. With the grace of a ballerina, we tiptoed them to our packing station where Santa's Elves who work with us during their off-season prepared your order for shipment.
Your products were methodically placed in each box using techniques taught to us by a former Tetris World Champion. Using a pair of tweezers, we placed hundreds of packing peanuts one-by-one into every nook and cranny to ensure safe transport. We are proud to share with you that our packing peanuts are reusable, recyclable, biodegradable and made using 100% recycled content. They also do not trigger peanut allergies. Eat your heart out, Mr. Peanut.
Saying goodbye to such sought-after products is always gut-wrenching. That is why we offer employees unlimited handkerchiefs as a part of our generous benefits package. As your order was whisked away at light speed down our assembly line into the loving arms of the shipping courier, our warehouse elves, with tears in their eyes, joined hands and whispered, "Jábba sô kalîk qonay." We don't speak Elvish ourselves, but they tell us the rough translation is "May these supplies bring stability and success to the aquarium and its owner." Wow, we are getting a little choked up ourselves now. Thanks, elves.
As the delivery truck pulled away from our warehouse dock, a rare double rainbow appeared overhead. That's when we knew the products we had raised since they were mere hatchlings were on their way to a better home. Please take care of them and, we promise, they will take care of you.
With sincere appreciation,
